Training has officially started! After two frustrating months of not even being able to dress myself, let alone do any sports, I'm finally back in the game. Most of you know I can't sit still and hate feeling useless so those two months of recovery were really hard. Thankfully I felt good enough to get back on a horse after five weeks (although I couldn't ride my own pony yet) and after six weeks I started running again. And since a few weeks I also took up dancing again and I work with a personal trainer twice a week to improve my (shoulder) muscles and get stronger. My arm is still weak but it's slowly getting better.
I told MaeCile that if I would end up needing surgery, I would cancel the Derby. That was in the first week after my fall, after that it got a lot worse and I actually had to have surgery. So I lied, I wasn't really able to quit. The more I thought and read about the race, the more excited I got. And I still am. Some moments it feels really scary to enter this thing, especially after my fall. My doctor told me that if I end up falling on my shoulder again, the collarbone might break again. Not because the break hasn't healed but because of the screws in the bone. They weaken the bone and it could easily snap in those spots. So I try really hard to tell myself I could break something either way, even without this pre-existing injury.
Other times I want to quit because training is just so hard. Running doesn't come easily to me so at times I feel like I'll never get there. My goal is to be able to run 10K before the Derby starts. Today I ran a 5K for the first time though and it felt great! It's so hard to drag myself out of bed in the morning to go for a run but I am improving and that makes it worth it. The personal training has once again reaffirmed for me how much I hate the gym. I can hardly force myself to walk in there for the warm-up, let alone the entire training. I'm so self conscious and always feel like everyone else is better than me. We have to decided to train outside instead, which is a lot nicer anyway since I already spend all day inside at work. Even if I fall off on the first day of the Derby, I will be fitter than ever before!
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I told MaeCile that if I would end up needing surgery, I would cancel the Derby. That was in the first week after my fall, after that it got a lot worse and I actually had to have surgery. So I lied, I wasn't really able to quit. The more I thought and read about the race, the more excited I got. And I still am. Some moments it feels really scary to enter this thing, especially after my fall. My doctor told me that if I end up falling on my shoulder again, the collarbone might break again. Not because the break hasn't healed but because of the screws in the bone. They weaken the bone and it could easily snap in those spots. So I try really hard to tell myself I could break something either way, even without this pre-existing injury.
